I’m gonna raise a fuss, I’m gonna raise a holler
About a workin’ all summer just to try to earn a dollar
Sometimes I wonder what I’m a gonna do
But there ain’t no cure for the summertime blues

-“Summertime Blues”, Eddie Cochran

“Mike, just half ass the mopping. We’re ready to leave.” I looked up to see one of my co-workers gawking at me.  I was exhausted and wasn’t in the mood to be hurried.  I was equally interested in clocking out.  However, I differed with my fellow workers in the energy we were exerting to clean up the restaurant.  I was interested in doing a full ass job.  I kept mopping.

A few minutes latter the supervisor came through the lobby and said “Okay looks good.  Ring out the mop and let’s get out of here.”  I gave up.  I wasn’t going to argue.  It was only my second week working at the restaurant and I didn’t want to be known as the guy who takes forever to close.  I took the mop back to the wash room, rung it out, dumped the dirty water, washed my hands, and clocked out.

A few days after the whole half ass mopping incident, the store manager asked me, “Do you like cleaning?”  I told her I did.  She was looking for someone to come in once a week and give the restaurant a once over.  The reason being, as I had found out already, was that employees who closed didn’t clean the place the right way.  “They just clean it just enough to get outta here as soon as possible.”  It’s not that I like cleaning, it’s more that I like doing the job the way it’s supposed to be done.

Instead of agitating my co-workers I’d rather motivate them to do the best job possible.  Thousands of US teenagers and college students are working mininum wage jobs.  The majority of us don’t want to be flipping burgers or scooping ice cream cones for the rest of our lives.  But I urge young people who are yearning for a job filled with adventure and thrills to be the best waitress.  Be the best movie rental clerk.  Be the best sandwich artist.  Be the best shoe salesperson.  The experience of working a part-time or full-time summer job will make you appreciate the career that you will eventually get.

My grandfather worked at Wendy’s well after retirement.  Whenever confronted with the banality of his job or questions about why he still worked.  He’d say, “Because there are burgers that need to be flipped.”  I’ll admit I’m pissed when yuppies come into the place where I work and don’t answer me when I say “How are you?” or don’t say “please” and “thank you”.  Those people make me say “Screw this.  I’m not going to clean this floor for those jerks.”  But then I’ll have a friendly customer and they’ll give me a pick me up.

Employees who work at minimun wage jobs are faced with careers that present the same challenge every day.  The same problems and the same customers come in to order the same food day in and day out.  I never understood why my grandparents made such a big deal over small differences.  Changes in the newspaper layout.  A sale on ketchup at the ACME.  But after working at jobs where you lose track of the days I understand why those little things are so important.

As with many young people, I’m scared of falling into a 9 to 5 existance.  I don’t want to lose myself in my work.  I want to be able to raise a kid or two.  Spend time with my wife.  See my dad, mom, and stepmom on days that aren’t holidays.  I want excitement and suspense.  But deep down I know that I’ll be saying to my daughter or son, “So you have a B.A. now you need a J-O-B.”

—
Michael Pipe

July 4th, 2006, was my first Independence Day not spent in the United States.  Three years ago I was studying abroad in Tanzania.  During that same time, the 2006 World Cup was going on.  I was more concerned with missing the World Cup then celebrating July 4th.  While in Tanzania, I expected to be cut off from television and the Internet.  I packed a small radio in my luggage so I could tune into a local radio station to get the scores of the games.  After a 20-hour flight, I was suprised to find that the place where I and my fellow student would be staying was equipped with a television.  During the day, while my classmates went into the surrounding areas to learn about a new and foreign culture, I remained at the hostel and watched soccer.

I was forced to pry myself from the World Cup on a number of occasions.  One such occasion was for a tour of an Arushan family’s home.  That experience changed my outlook on the trip.  The house had dirt floors and a large stone couch that was coverd with cloth.  The simplicity of the home was matched with the warmth and kindness of the occupants - a woman and her two boys.  With the help of a local student who was studying English at the United African Alliance Community Center I was able to talk with the woman and her two boys.

Why was I more interested in watching soccer than engrossing myself in the happenings of a world and people thousands of miles away from my own?  Was I afraid that I had nothing in common with these Tanzanians?  I was humbled to say the least. After I finished my porridge I was given a tour of back yard.  While we were surveying the garden the two boys began to kick around a plastic bag filled with dirt with rope tied around it.  I broke from the herbivoric scene and joined in with the boys.  The boys didn’t speak any English and I could barely count to three in Swahili.  But I had an idea.  The next time the ball came to me I quickly moved my feet and waist as if trying to juke a defender from me.  I stopped and looked at the boys and said “Ronaldinho.”  They smiled broadly and began to move their bodies as I did.

The United States is not a soccer country; we’re a pigskin nation.  Most Americans would rather watch the Steelers play the Iggles rather than a match between Chelsea and Manchester United.  There’s nothing wrong with that.  I attend Penn State University where football is king and Joe Paterno is a god (if it’s a winning season).  Yet, the rest of the world is obsessed with soccer, or as they call it, football.  The US has excelled in industry, science, technology, and consuming hot dogs.  We have the best military in the world.  But why haven’t we mastered soccer?

As President Obama travels the world and continues to reset the US’s foreign relations, I urge him to include soccer into the conversation.  Obama gave a historic speech to the Muslim world.  He visited Buchenwald.  He will travel to Ghana on July 10th.  Those are all great actions but if Obama truly wants to improve relations with the rest of the world he should start playing soccer.  The world knows that Obama loves basketball but he would get a lot of love from the world if he would get the cabinet together for a game of soccer on the South Lawn.

Two of the president’s advisor’s personalities would translate on the soccer field.  Defender of the president’s message, Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, would make an excellent goalie.  Chief of staff Rahm Emanuel, known for his firey personality, would make an excellent striker.

It’d be great to see Obama host the US Men’s Soccer Team before they leave for South Africa to compete in the 2010 World Cup. Obama has already hosted the NCAA Men’s Basketball Champions, the MLB World Series champs, and the Super Bowl champs.  Team USA Soccer isn’t the favorite to win next year’s World Cup but they made a good showing in the CONFED cup tournament.  And if they play like they did in the CONFED cup, up until the second half against Brazil, they will go far in the World Cup.

If I learned anything during my brief time in Tanzania, it’s that soccer brings people together.  So this July 4th, suit up your cleets, grab one of those zebra colored balls and start practicing.

—
Michael Pipe

Although I’m a Democrat, I am not celebrating the recent political folly of Gov. Mark Sanford and Sen. John Ensign’s affairs.  Even though the GOP has probably lost two big contenders for the White Hosue in 2012, I’m not satisfied in the least. The fact that Sen. Ensign and Gov. Sanford will be hounded by television cameras, put on the cover of tabloid magazines, and asked embarrasing questions gives me no joy.  For the time being it seems as if both men will remain married to their wives.  If either of the couples take the path that Jon and Kate are walking down, they will join millions of Americans who have filed for divorce in recent years.

Among these millions of people are my father and my mother, who divorced when I was nine.  As I matured I vowed that if I ever tied the knot I would make it last.  My marriage would survive til death do us part.  But how does one do this in such a sexually charged country?  I am in a relationship now with someone that I love very much.  But what if I should stumble upon someone who is a better lover?  Someone who I can’t get out of my head?  Or has a better recipe for lasagna?  What then?  What if the love I have now dies?  Should I shack up with a campaign staffer or find a pen pal in South America? Or should I fall in love with God?

The GOP cast its lot with the Christian Right during the 1980s and became the party of “family values.”  They crusaded against Bill Clinton during the 1990s and failed to remove him from power.  However, they successfully returned morality to the While House with George W. Bush.  Or so they thought.  The Iraq War undercut the meaning of family values with a slash in funding for veterans and sending soldiers on extended tours. Family values fell down the list of voters’ priorieties when the economy tanked during the 2008 Election.   And now as the GOP tries to rebrand itself, two of its potential presidential candidates reveal they are having affairs.  The hole that the Republican Party was digging itself out of just caved in.

As I expressed before, I’m not happy about the crumbling political futures of Sen. Ensign and Gov. Sanford. And anyone feeling giddy about the weakness of Sen. Ensign and Gov. Sanford would be wise to reflect on what Jimmy Carter said in that interview with Playbody in November of 1976.  Discussing his own struggles of lusting for other women, Carter said,

Christ says, don’t consider yourself better than someone else because one guy screws a whole bunch of women while the other guy is loyal to his wife. The guy who’s loyal to his wife ought not to be condescending or proud because of the relative degree of sinfulness.

I want the fight between the Democrats and Republicans to be about the talk around the kitchen table, not the lies told in the bedroom. Now that’s family values.

—
Michael Pipe

On May 28th, 2009, a staffer for a Tennessee state senator, attached the below image to an email she sent to some of her colleagues:

Classy!  The email was entitled “Historical Keepsake Photo.”  Double classy!

I prefer Patrick Moberg’s illustration that highlights the legacy of white supremacy in the United States:

Let’s be frank. Racism is not a scientific concept; it is a social construct.  Racism is the belief, practice, and policy of domination based on the false concept of race.  Racism is not simply bigotry, but public policy and practice supported by institutional power.  White supremacy is the dominant form of oppression in the United States. Moreover, white supremacy was imbued in the birth of the US.  US history is typified by blatant acts of white supremacy: the genocide of the indigenous population, the enslavement of Africans, annexation of Mexican territory, and the internment of Japanese during the Second World War.

However, there is at least limited racial progress in the US.  Two hundred years ago, it was impossible for a black man born in the US to be elected president.  If Barack Obama had been born in Virginia (a state whose electoral votes he won in the 2008 election) 200 years ago he wouldn’t have been able to even vote.

—
Michael Pipe

Late night talk shows provide a bit of comic relief after a hard day’s work.  They serve to entertain and amuse.  Usually, you’ll find a movie star or rock band featured on the show.  Sometimes if a politician needs to soften their image they’ll appear on a late night talk show.  However it’s dangerous terrain for some.  Politics is often a dry, serious business.  Talk night talk shows are a place for comedy.  Mixing them can be like water and oil.  The candidates visit backfires.  However, sometimes the host gets himself into trouble.

Last week, David Letterman traded jabs with Sarah Palin about what was appropriate and not appropriate fodder for comedians.  Their verbal volleys began with some jokes that Letterman did on his show on June 8th.  The jokes involved the Alaskan governor and her daughter.  I’m a huge fan of Letterman but his jokes went too far and — although  “edgy” — were not funny.  Letterman took time from his show on June 15th to apologize.

Jon Stewart and Joe Scarborough have been duking it out ever since Stewart poked fun at Scarborough’s morning show and its relationship with Starbucks.  Stewart questions whether a news show should have corporate sponsors.  I support Stewart on this one.  However, his “Napoleon” sketch wasn’t terribly funny.  He should stick to lampooning politics rather than bantering with the hosts of “Morning Joe”.

Politics and late night talk have a long history.  Johnny Carson joked about Nixon.  Jay Leno poked fun at Clinton.  And now Conan O’Brien gets to crack wise about Obama. Comedians are able to look at a frightening world and find humor.  After I peruse a copy the New York Times, I’m sometimes depressed about the state of the world.  However, after Stephen Colbert reads —then burns—a copy of the New York Times he is able to make me laugh about its contents.

Saturday Night Live also contributes to the lampooning of public figures.  Can you guess who was the first president they parodied?  If you said Gerald Ford you have won our prize.  Yet, Chevy Chase’s take on Ford wasn’t all that spot on.  Chase would act clumsy and talk incoherently.  Ford tripped in front of the camera a few times and fumbled with a few verbal gaffs.  One of my favorite SNL parodies was that of Ronald Reagan done by the late Phil Hartman.  During the Iran-Contra scandal, Reagan was seen as a clueless hap.  Hartman portrayed him as the mastermind behind the whole White House in a classic bit.

As for Bill Clinton, we all know the infinite Lewinsky jokes that awaited him during the 1990s (and even still persist today!).  However, in 1988 then-Governor Clinton appeared on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson after giving the Keynote Address at the Democratic National Convention.  Clinton’s speech at the ‘88 DNC was criticized for its duration. Carson returned the favor by taking three minutes to introduce Clinton.  (For those of you who are fans of “The War Room”, take note of the foreshadowing chant of Clinton fans in the audience…)  Clinton returned to late night circuit when he dropped by the Arsenio Hall Show with his saxophone and soothed the country.

Late night TV and politics go hand in hand.  The writers of late night shows would be hard-pressed for material if they didn’t tread into the realm of politics.  There has been a concern in the humor community that Barack Obama’s presidency will offer less material than his predecessors’.  Obama may not make too many mistakes that will end up as punch lines, but I think he will reveal himself to be human—at least a few times.

—
Michael Pipe

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Volunteers and staffers for Barack Obama’s presidential campaign were often asked by voters if he was a Muslim.  As an Obama field organizer, I calmly reassured nervous Democrats that he was indeed a Christian.  Volunteers who stopped by the office to make a few phone calls between jobs got similar questions.  They would similarly (sometimes less calmly) inform folks that Obama did not attend a radical madrasah and that he took the oath of office on the Bible.  As the questions of his faith became more and more frequent, our patience waned.  Eventually our answers were monosyllabic.  Then, the YouTube clips of Rev. Wright surfaced and the same people who didn’t believe he was a Christian were now saying Obama attended an anti-American church.  We then used other monosyllabic words to express our dismay.

Hours ago, President Obama gave a much-anticipated speech in Egypt on Muslim-US relations.  Give the prez props for quoting the Holy Koran and saying “peace be upon them” after mentioning Moses, Jesus, and Mohammed (peace be upon them).  Obama recognizes that when you give respect, you get respect. The speech was an honest take on the current state of world affairs.  The president did a tit-for-tat routine throughout the speech.

• I’m a Christian but I have appreciation and respect for the Islamic faith.
• Muslim women should have the freedom to wear the hijab in the US and in the Muslim world they should have the ability to get an education.
• Bo is a cute dog but he still needs to be trained.
• Islam is not a monolithic religion and America is not imperialistic.
• The Jewish people have experienced hardships but their security shouldn’t come at the price of occupying the Palestinians.
• Joe Biden is a great vice-president but he still needs to be trained.

Obama also said he considers “it part of [his] responsibility as President of the United States to fight against negative stereotypes of Islam wherever they appear.”  Was it not also his responsibility as a candidate for president?  On the campaign trail, whenever his purported Muslimness came up, Obama would say that he was a Christian and leave it at that. His campaign website seemed especially harsh to Muslims.

I wished Obama had been as articulate as former Secretary of State Colin Powell. When  Powell appeared on Meet the Press a few weeks before the election he officially endorsed Obama.  As a bonus, he also addressed the questions surrounding Obama’s religious beliefs.  Powell commented, “Well, the correct answer is, he is not a Muslim, he’s a Christian…But the really right answer is, what if he is?  Is there something wrong with being a Muslim in this country? The answer’s no, that’s not America.”

Obama never gave a More Perfect Union-like speech on the questions surrounding his faith.  He could have injected a bit of humor into the conversation with an homage to Seinfeld.  “I’m not a Muslim…not that there’s anything wrong with that…My father’s a Muslim…Do you want to get saved right now! Let’s go! C’mon!”

On second thought, that might have cost him the election.

-Michael Pipe

Nine years ago, Ted Olson and David Boies were in the same courtroom.  However, they were arguing on opposite sides of the case: Bush v. Gore.  We all know how that ended.

However, under the guise of a newly created group, American Foundation for Equal Rights, Olson and Boies are now teaming up to fight Prop 8.

In a press release issued yesterday, they suggest that:

“Proposition 8 creates a class of ‘second-class citizens’ and thereby violates the U.S. Constitution…

“This unequal treatment of gays and lesbians denies the basic liberties and equal protection under the law that are guaranteed by the Fourteenth Amendment of the United States Constitution”.

The partnership of Olson and Boies demonstrates how bipartisan the issue of legalizing gay marriage can and should be.  Steve Schmidt, Senator John McCain’s senior campaign advisor, has already seen the light.  Don’t get me wrong — it’s going to take a lot of political action to overturn the myriad homophobic laws in the US of A.  But it will happen.  Allowing people to marry whoever they want should be as American as apple pie.

—

I was recently watching Gay USA, an hour-long TV show that covers big and small LGBT events.  The hosts of the program are Andy Humm and Ann Northrup.  Humm and Northrup read clippings from the weeks news and give commentary.  They are often outraged and at a loss for words.  They are critical of President Obama’s lack of progress on overturning DADT and legalizing gay marriage (and rightly so).  While watching the program I couldn’t help but empathize with their presentation of the material.  Humm and Northrup seemed to be saying “This is comedic — the hyprocricy and ignorance — but it shouldn’t be.”  It’s a shame that people who are attracted to people of the opposite sex think people who are attracted to people of same sex shouldn’t be allowed to marry.

Ted, Dave, Ann, and Andy, keep up the good work.

—Michael

BREAKING NEWS!  FEATURE STORY!  PAGE ONE!  OBAMA GIVES…an interview.

Don’t get me wrong.  I understand why Obama’s image has been slapped on so many things.  He’s popular and people love to collect stuff with famous people’s picture on them.  But should news outlets do the same?

Newsweek recently revamped it’s mag and website.  Did Newsweek put a popular president on the cover of the new magazine in order to draw people’s attention?  Dunno.  But it’s an interesting coincidence.  The magazine’s cover has Obama’s face behind the text: Obama on Obama.  Did Newsweek ever run a cover with Bush 43’s picture and the text “Bush on Bush”?  Probably not. Wal-Mart might’ve banned it.

——

In the May 25th edition of Newsweek, Jon Meacham interviews the president aboard Air Force One.  During the sit-down Meacham asks Obama about Iranian/Israeli relations.  Obama says,

“I’ve been very clear that I don’t take any options off the table with respect to Iran. I don’t take options off the table when it comes to U.S. security, period.”

Fair enough.  Obama wants to keep America safe.  However, two years ago on the campaign trail then-Senator Obama told the AP the following:

“‘I think it would be a profound mistake for us to use nuclear weapons in any circumstance,’ Obama said, with a pause, ‘involving civilians.’ Then he quickly added, ‘Let me scratch that. There’s been no discussion of nuclear weapons. That’s not on the table.’”

While running for president Obama suggested that the United States should not use nuclear weapons. Now he says all options are on the table.  Is this just tough talk from a guy who was seen as being soft on national security during the election?  Did Obama become privy to intelligence that wasn’t availed to him on the campaign trail that caused him to change his mind?  President Obama wants to rid the planet of nuclear weapons.  Awesome.  But the president should take the next step and also rule out the use of nuclear weapons.  When Osama bin Laden, threatens to detonate a nuclear bomb in Washington, DC, he is called a madman.  When a US president says he won’t rule out nukes, he’s celebrated as being tough.

I’m just not buying it.

—Michael Pipe

The coverage of President Barack Obama’s first 100 days in office has been exhaustive.  White House Senior Advisor David Axelrod remarked that the milestone was tantamount to a “Hallmark holiday.”  Keep in mind: one-hundred days of a US President’s term is roughly seven percent of his or her whole term.  The Beltway columnists, presidential historians, and Internet pundits have all given their take on how well the president is doing.  The overall score seems to be a B+.  I’m taking finals this week and that grade sounds pretty decent.

Unlike the Washington politicos, I don’t spend my whole day following the media chatter.  Rather, I’m a former Obama campaign staffer who’s slipping back into the college lifestyle.  Two years ago, I packed up my car and drove cross-country from Penn State University to Las Vegas, Nevada.  I wasn’t getting hitched with my high school sweetheart or trying to become the next Texas hold ‘em champ.  I was trying to help elect a president.  However, I would gamble (by taking off time from college for a guy with a funny name who was down in the polls) and get married (to the campaign).

During his first one hundred days in office, President Obama has signed the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, reauthorized SCHIP, pushed through Congress the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act, and has taken the first steps to restart US foreign policy (with emphasis towards the Islamic world).  I praise the president for all of these achievements.  Yet one campaign promise hasn’t received much attention from pundits: eliminating of income taxes for senior citizens making 50,000 dollars or less.

As a field organizer for Barack Obama’s Campaign for Change, I would bring this talking point up when trying to win the support of undecided senior citizens.  While on the phone or at their doorstep I kept up bringing up this point because many senior citizens didn’t know Barack was committed to doing this and it seemed to get their attention.  Interestingly enough I now recall a few saying that they’ve heard the lofty election season promises before and having to pay no taxes sounded too good to be true.  Nevertheless, I was irked when I found out that the president had abandoned this pledge.  I’ve found some solace in former-Governor Mario Coumo’s phrase: “We campaign in poetry, but when we’re elected we’re forced to govern in prose.”

President Obama has said that he won’t have the luxury of a “caretaker presidency”.  With the huge challenges that the president and his team have on their plate, I’m pleased that they remain confident.  With the multitude of challenges that President Obama faces he’s going to need all 1461 days of his first term to move the ship of state.

-Michael